", 53. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. "Everybody's been mad at me, cause I haven't been on the f**king, y'know, the gravy train of these candidates, especially Joe Biden and Harris. Politics Notify me about new: Board Topics. Try spelling Evian backward. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. LinkedIn sets this cookie from LinkedIn share buttons and ad tags to recognize browser ID. ", 104. ", Join half a million readers enjoying Newsweek's free newsletters. ""Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. (LogOut/ They will do anything for the unborn. . "Electricity is really just organized lightning. ""I don't think we should be governing ourselves. "People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. ""This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. It will not be with jack-boots. "How can [God] be perfect? Carlin passed away in 2008 before he could see the prescience of his comedic wit and intelligence with the rise of Republican Donald Trump's candidacy this year. They own you. Then you're just what they're looking for. You only get to hear cats. You have owners. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. And if they tell you youre not a team player, congratulate them on being observant. George Carlin. ", 35. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. You have owners. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. This data helps to customize website content to enhance user experience. Theyre not interested in that. ", 27. This cookie is used by PwC to track individual visitors and their use of site. - Arthur Baer. ", 8. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and not theyre coming for your Social Security money. ", 11. ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. It even sparked a legal case with the U.S. Supreme Court! Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. But once youre born, youre on your own. - George Carlin. "Weather forecast for tonight: dark. "Sometimes people say, 'Do I try to make audiences think?' If youre preborn, youre fine; if youre preschool, youre fucked. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) "If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both f**ked. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. They dont give a fuck about you. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. The 1996 clip is being passed around on social media after this week's Supreme Court news. "How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? Set aside 30 minutes to watch investigative journalist Whitney Webb speak with MintPress News in the video above. ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? The JSESSIONID cookie is used by New Relic to store a session identifier so that New Relic can monitor session counts for an application. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. They don't want to hear from you. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. "I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Thell get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin place. This cookie is used to collect data on user behaviour and interaction to make advertisement on the website more relevant. ", 98. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. This cookie is used for DNS Prefetch and HTTP2 Push. ", 95. George Carlin on Being Arrested for Performing "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" Johnny Carson 325K views 3 months ago George Carlin - Stand Up About Religion Matti Holden 13M. ", 55. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. "Laugh often, long and loud. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Scratch any cynic, and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". 28. r/antiwork. Everyones at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. I'm your huckleberry. Used by Microsoft Advertising as a unique ID for visitors. Let's start with critical race theory. "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. Its because volunteers work for no pay. From his infamous take on censorship with his NSFW "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" (which landed in the Supreme Court) to his nuanced rants on partisan politics and consumerism, Carlin not only made audiences laugh, but he challenged them to think independently and criticallyalbeit not entirely deliberately. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. "It's important in life if you don't give a s**t. It can help you a lot. "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. They are irrelevant. That is against their interests. The ID is used for targeted ads. I don't have to tell you my favorite comedian just like I don't have to say my favorite meal to tell the chef his food sucks. Twitter sets this cookie to integrate and share features for social media and also store information about how the user uses the website, for tracking and targeting. You don't. You have no choice. September 12, 2019. "If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. ", 125. NID cookie, set by Google, is used for advertising purposes; to limit the number of times the user sees an ad, to mute unwanted ads, and to measure the effectiveness of ads. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and ", 24. You have OWNERS! "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. ""George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country. The Monday night crucifixions! [] I look at war a little bit differently. Thats what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. Thats against their interests. This cookie is set by DoubleClick and is used for re-targeting, optimisation, reporting and attribution of online adverts. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts George Carlin, I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. George Carlin, I dont like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. "In America, anyone can become president. Simple thing. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. ""These days many politicians are demanding change. ''It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. ", 57. Board Messages . George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube George speaking the truth. Which doesn't make any sense at all. When a . Its part of that showoff and dropout syndrome. ", 94. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. ", 38. That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. Nobeody seems to care. They dont want that. No nothing. . "I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to. 43. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. In fact, liberals are so successful at winning the culture war that they are alienating most Americans. If you think too much, you will be left behind by everyone. A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! Bomb them! And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. If a dog can do it, you can watch. Others see it half empty. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. The domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. ", 88. "Don't give your money to the church. It helps in improving the performance. Forget the politicians. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. ", 14. That's the problem. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?, Last Words, and more. This cookie is used to detect and defend when a client attempt to replay a cookie.This cookie manages the interaction with online bots and takes the appropriate actions. "Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers? They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. 3. Others see it half empty. No nothing! "People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. "I have as much authority as the Pope. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. "The planet is fine. Theyre not interested in that. A Death! These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. This cookie stores a visitor's unique identifier for Chartbeat tracking on the site. - Doc Holliday. The great American comedian George Carlin died on June 22, 2008 at the age of 71. ", 69. And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. As politicians and social media commentators weighed in on . This gif says it all: Carlins performance is being passed around on social media after a leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court indicates that Roe v. Wade may soon be overturned, paving the way for abortion to be outlawed in parts of the nation. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. No nothing. This cookie is native to PHP applications. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. ", 22. Amen and Awomen. You dont.
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